


Baby, Take Me to the Feeling

by withthepilot



Category: Neighbors | Bad Neighbours (Movies)
Genre: Dirty Talk, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, M/M, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 12:22:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8890624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withthepilot/pseuds/withthepilot
Summary: Like most love stories, Teddy's begins with a dildo.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [yeats](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeats/gifts).



> Happy Yuletide, yeats! I hope this dirty little story brings you some holiday cheer.
> 
> Title from "Run Away With Me" by Carly Rae Jepsen.

Like most love stories, Teddy's begins with a dildo.

"Holy shit," he mumbles, watching Stella bound across the room as fast as her two stubby legs can carry her. She's brandishing the rubber dildo in her tiny fist, the head swaying back and forth. There's a pink Barbie tutu fit snugly around the mid-shaft area, brushing against her clenched fingers.

"Is a p'incess!" she exclaims.

"Hey, yeah! The prettiest princess in the world!"

Teddy bites his lip. He'd recognize that dick anywhere.

When Mac and Kelly get home from their movie, Stella is tucked into bed, sound asleep after her nighttime glass of warm milk and the thirty-sixth time Teddy has treated her to his dramatic rendition of _Hop on Pop_. Mildred is also long asleep, dreaming sweetly under the starry lights of her glow-in-the-dark mobile. Princess Dildo, however, is still out and about, sitting upright on the kitchen table like a prized centerpiece.

"Huh," Mac says when he spies it. "Kelly, if I knew you were that into the ballet, I'd have picked a different Halloween costume this year."

"Oh, Jesus." Kelly snatches the dildo off the table and plucks at the tutu. "How does this child find all of my sex toys? This is the fourth time I've had to find a new hiding place."

Teddy does his best to tamp down on any and all flustered feelings. He musters as much accusation in his posture as he can manage, hands on his hips and toes tapping as though Mac and Kelly missed their curfew.

"Where did you get that?"

"Bed, Bath & Beyond, probably, yeah?" Kelly glances between Teddy and Mac, and she shrugs.

Mac nods. "We had, like, six coupons that were about to expire."

"That's a _Pete_ ," Teddy says.

"A what?"

"It's a Pete dildo. From when we did that Delta Psi dildo fundraiser to pay for our new foundation? After you two flooded our basement?"

Mac gapes at Kelly and Princess Dildo. "You bought one of those?!"

"It was for a good cause!"

"No, it wasn't!"

"It was a sex toy sale happening right next door to where I live! I can't possibly be blamed for the urge to window shop."

"You didn't window shop! You spent money in exchange for goods!"

"Hell yeah, she did." Teddy grins. "I gotta say, Kel, I'm a little offended you didn't get the Teddy."

"Well, they both had their merits," Kelly says, waving a hand. "This one spoke to me. It's, y'know. Perky."

"I'm not perky?" Mac says. "You thought I was plenty perky last night."

"God knows I couldn't even hold the Scoonie with both of my hands."

"We turned one into a fake snake for April Fools'," Teddy says. "Scared the shit out of some sorority girls."

"You're never babysitting again!" Mac yells.

They end the night with an exchange of cash, a beer for the road, and a knowing, squinty look from Kelly as she shows Teddy out the door. A very _I know that you know that I know it's super weird that you recognized Pete's dildo_ look.

Or maybe Teddy's projecting.

*

The thing is, Teddy owns a Pete, too. After the frat lost the house and everyone started packing to move out, there were a bunch of leftover dildos up for grabs in a random box. The remaining Scoonies went fast, most of the brothers planning to use them for DIY car repair and gardening projects, but most of the other varieties went to the nearby Salvation Army, lucky them.

Without even thinking about it, Teddy snatched a Pete, stuffed it into a shoebox full of random junk, and then went about his business like it never happened. The dildo stayed in storage during the time he actually lived with Pete, and it finally emerged when he moved into his own place, a few months after he started his gay wedding business. Teddy placed it in one of his nightstand drawers, not really knowing what else to do with it. He began taking the toy out every few nights after that, simply holding it in his hands and staring at it, tracing its contours with his eyes for ten, fifteen minutes at a time, before putting it back in the drawer.

So it's no small wonder, really, that he recognizes its counterpart at Mac and Kelly's house, even when it's all dressed up and ready for showtime. He goes right home and sits on the edge of his bed, digging out his own Pete and grasping it tightly by its base.

"I feel like this means something," he whispers.

Just then, his phone starts to buzz. He yelps and drops the dildo when he sees that the caller is the real Pete.

"Dude," he says, half-panicked as he answers the phone. "Are you here?!"

"Why would I be there? You think I'm hiding under the bed?"

"...Are you, though?"

"No, dude. I promise I'm not a scary monster under your bed," Pete says, laughing. Teddy can't help but smile. "I was just thinking I haven't seen you in a minute. The firm keeps throwing all these new projects at me."

"Whatever. You know you love it, superstar."

Pete giggles. "Well, yeah, but it's also like, ack, stop already."

"Yeah, I get that. I've been pretty busy with work, too. Plus, I started babysitting once a week for Mac and Kelly."

"Oh, thank god. Mildred is the fucking cutest and you _know_ I need my baby photo fix, bro."

"I got you covered, man," Teddy says. He runs his index finger up and down the shaft of the dildo, pausing at the spot where Stella left the tutu on Kelly's version. He gets a mental flash of the real thing, clad in the same tutu, and he tries not to choke on his own spit. "But, uh, yeah, let's hang out soon. Maybe tomorrow?"

"Flannigan's? Shots? There's gotta be shots."

"Just one round! I have a meeting with a new client the next morning."

"Holy shit. Teddy Sanders, getting up early in the morning to do yoga and meet with clients."

"I'm trying tai chi right now, actually."

Pete laughs again. "Of course you fucking are."

After they finish making plans, Teddy puts his phone and dildo down long enough to change into boxers, brush his teeth, and get into bed. Once the lights are off and he's under the covers, he considers the Pete again, practically winking at him from the other side of the mattress.

"I'm not going to put you in my butt," Teddy tells it firmly. He swallows and shoves the dildo under his pillow, then turns onto his back, staring up at the ceiling.

When he finally falls asleep, he dreams of Pete waking him up with breakfast in bed, grinning his ridiculous, toothy grin and wearing nothing but pink taffeta around the base of his erect and yes, incredibly perky dick.

 _I feel like this means something_ , Dream Teddy says, right before his alarm wakes him up.

*

Around half-past eleven, Teddy gets the distinct feeling that Pete isn't coming. Somehow their hangout session turned into a guys' night out at Flannigan's. Scoonie tries to mack on girls by telling them he's a "cocktrepreneur" and Garf lets strangers pose for selfies with his police badge. Teddy sips the lukewarm remains of his beer and motions to Garf, highly confused.

"Is that, like, an okay thing to do?"

Garf shrugs. "As long as they're not taking selfies with my gun, seems harmless enough."

"Where is Pete already, anyway?" Teddy asks, looking around.

"Who knows, man? Guy's got problems."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, you don't know?" Garf says, cringing. "Pete and Darren have been fighting all the time lately. He's talking about getting a divorce. They've been going to marriage counseling and everything."

"What the shit? He never told me that." Teddy frowns, his brain a little beer-logged. He slaps his hand down on the bartop. "Why wouldn't he tell me that?"

"Dude!" Scoonie exclaims. He runs over and slings an arm around Teddy's shoulders, petting Teddy's hair with his other hand. "You can't be telling Teddy all of Pete's secrets!"

Teddy wrinkles his nose as he wrests himself free of Scoonie's embrace, sending his skinny arms flailing in the air. The guy's breath is rank with the cloying scents of cigars and Bahama Mamas, which brings back way too many college flashbacks. 

"He shouldn't _have_ any secrets. Not with me. I'm his best friend." He drinks the last of his beer, sulky pout firmly in place, and Scoonie scoffs behind him.

"Hey, man. It's not Pete's fault that he's in love with you!"

Teddy nearly spits his beer all over the couple sitting next to him. Probably good that he doesn't—they're clearly out on a Tinder date and he wouldn't want to ruin that for them. But still.

"What the _fuck_?" he shouts.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Garf says, waving his hands. "I told Teddy that Pete was getting a divorce, not that he's in love with him!"

"Okay, but he's getting a divorce because he's in love with Teddy! They go hand in hand!"

Garf groans. "What is _wrong_ with you, Scoonie? Who put truth serum in your motherfucking Bahama Mama?"

"Bahama Mamas _are_ his truth serum," Teddy says, rubbing his temple.

They keep arguing as Teddy's phone starts to buzz in his pocket. When he fishes it out, he finds a text message from Pete: _Dude so so so so sorry. Thought it would be fun to invite the guys but then I had an emergency. I know I suck. Will explain next time we talk...have a good night._ Teddy purses his lips and tries to ignore his gnawing feeling of anger, shoving his phone away again and tuning back into the conversation.

"Hey, no, listen. I've been listening to Pete whine about Teddy for _years_. I'm fucking tired of it. Also, fuck that slow burn shit," Scoonie says, his bad breath getting dangerously close to Teddy's face again. "Wouldn't you rather know now than, like, a year from now? Or what if he never even told you? That would be so fucked up."

"No, it wouldn't. Because Teddy is straight."

Teddy's first reaction is to shrug because hey, sexuality, it's a spectrum, right? But then a familiar brew of titillation and anxiety bubbles in his chest, and soon it's nothing but visions of naked Pete in a dick tutu, bringing him avocado toast in bed. It's a nice image, a little _too_ nice, and it flicks a switch in Teddy's brain that sends any last semblance of sobriety out the window.

"Yeah, dude. I love vagina!" Okay, too far. "Vagina loves me!" _Much_ better. He turns to the rest of the bar. "Who wants to show me her vagina?"

"Please, for the love of god, do it in the bathroom," the poor bartender says—Brian, according to his nametag.

"Hey, fuck you, Brian!" Teddy shouts. "Vagina on the rocks, shaken not stirred!"

"VAGINAAAAAA!" Scoonie howls, getting to work on the fly of his jeans.

About twenty minutes later, Teddy stumbles into his apartment, still smarting from the headlock the bouncer put him in, before Garf put his badge to actual good use. He shucks off his clothes as he saunters over to his bed and collapses onto the sheets. Then he plucks the Pete dildo out from under his pillow and props it up on the nightstand. It stares him down with its beady, nonexistent little dildo eyes.

"Okay, so I might like dick, too," he mumbles into his pillow. "Especially your dick. But I'm still not putting you in my butt, even if you _are_ in love with me. Which, like...you're not. That's just crazy talk."

Naturally, Teddy dreams again, this time about waking up to find Pete kneeling between his legs. Pete licks his lips and slowly spreads Teddy's thighs apart, peering up at him with his trademark shit-eating grin.

 _Hey, man. Bros before hoes_ , he says cheerfully.

In the end, it's not the first time Teddy's ever greeted the day by masturbating furiously, and it probably—most definitely—won't be the last.

He postpones the client meeting.

*

All Teddy ever has to do is close his eyes and concentrate, just for a few seconds, to recall the visceral feeling of Pete's erection, swelling to life in his hand. It's one of the more memorable moments from his college years—that ill-advised fight in the frat house, after Pete slept with Teddy's girlfriend, thanks to Kelly and Mac's meddling. Teddy can still remember it so clearly: the way Pete's lips parted and his eyelids drooped as he gazed into the distance, his dick swiftly stirring and growing hard, almost instantaneously, in Teddy's grip.

Meanwhile, he barely even remembers what Brooke—or was it Britney? Brioche?—looked like when she came. And he made her come a _lot_.

Still, despite that shared intimate moment, Teddy finds it hard to believe that Pete's been in love with him for years. It just doesn't seem possible, what with the way Pete seemed to fall head over heels for Darren. Not to mention the fact that Teddy was basically the last person to even find out that Pete was gay. Even that Assjuice kid seemed to already know.

Teddy still wonders, sometimes, about Pete's party dick trick and what exactly he used to think about when he did it—what made him get hard so fast. A hot male supermodel? Some random fanfiction story he found online? The DVD box set of _Sex and the City_? (Seriously—Pete owns it. It's pink and fuzzy and he's obsessed with it.)

He's interrupted from his thoughts when Kelly clears her throat pointedly.

"Teddy, you don't seem to be enjoying yourself."

Teddy blinks and looks around at the circle of stuffed animals around the table, wearing their poofy dresses and sparkly tiaras. In the middle of it all is Stella, frowning at him for throwing off the vibe of her afternoon tea party.

There's also the Pete dildo, dressed in its ever-present pink tutu, presiding over a cup of steaming, imaginary tea.

"Sorry," Teddy says, exhaling. "Just have a lot on my mind."

"Everything all right?" Kelly says, pretending to help Stella pour another round.

"I guess so." He waits until his cup is "filled" and then lifts the cups to his lips, blowing away invisible steam. "Do you think it's weird that Pete wouldn't tell me that he's thinking of getting a divorce?"

"Huh. Weren't you his best man?"

"Yeah. I mean, we're BFFs."

"That is odd, then." Kelly shrugs. "Unless it has to do with the fact that he's in love with you."

Teddy gapes mid-sip, his pinky raised high in the air. "Are you fu—I mean, are you fudging kidding me?! How do _you_ know about that?"

"Well, first of all, I appreciate your concern but Mac and I curse around the kids all the time, so it's far too late to spare Stella's innocence." Kelly smirks, reaching out to ruffle Stella's hair. "Also, what do you mean, how do I know? Of course I know. I overheard quite a lot of pining when you walking sacks of hormones were living next door to us."

"Pining?" Teddy blinks, bewildered. Never in a million years would he ever have imagined that Pete was _pining_ for him in college.

"Plus, you two literally tell each other 'I love you' all the time."

"Well, yeah, but that's like, brotherly love. Not 'hey dude, I'm gay for you' love."

Kelly rolls her eyes. "Oh, for god's sake. Americans. If diabetes doesn't end up killing you all, bromance will."

"Wait, let's go back to the pining for a second. There was _pining_?"

"Mac!" Kelly calls toward the door. "Wasn't Pete always pining for Teddy to college?" About five seconds later, Mac pops his head into Stella's room.

"Oh, yeah. Major pining," he says.

"Hi, Daddy!" Stella exclaims.

"Hi there, sweetheart!"

Teddy sputters while Stella runs away to hug Mac's leg. "How? What?"

"Oh, Teddy, come on! Why do you think it was so easy for me to get Pete to sleep with Brooke?"

"Clearly he saw her as a proxy for you," Mac says, lifting Stella off the floor to bounce her in his arms. He pauses when Teddy glares at him. "What? I took a human sexuality class in college. I know things."

"The question is," Kelly says, putting down her cup and saucer. "Now that you know, what are you going to do about it?"

"I dunno. Nothing, I guess? He's still married." Teddy pauses. "Also, I'm straight."

"So straight that you recognized his dildo?"

Teddy feels himself turn red. "Of course I recognized it; we had, like, two hundred of them."

Kelly squints at him. "You still have one, don't you?"

"Yeah, well, I never put it in my butt!"

"In da butt!" Stella squeals, raising her tiny fist. Kelly bursts out laughing and Teddy scrambles to his feet, taking off his tiara.

"I don't know why I even come here," he says, grumbling.

"For the sparkling company and free booze, I assume," Kelly says.

"Hey, Teddy, just remember: Sexuality is fluid," Mac says, nodding sagely. "I'm telling you, that class was really informative."

"You guys suck," Teddy says. He pauses to kiss Stella's cheek on his way out. "I'll see you next Thursday."

"Bye, bye, butt," Stella says, beaming at him.

And as endearing as the sentiment is, it's also too on-the-nose to _not_ be some kind of cosmic omen.

*

It's not often that Teddy wakes up to the smell of something tasty. Actually, it never happens at all. So when he stumbles out of his bedroom, clad in an old t-shirt, boxers, and a single sock, and finds Pete in his kitchen, leisurely using the stove and countertop to cook, he assumes he's in the midst of another bizarre dream.

"Where's the tutu?" he says, groggy and squinty as he scratches his head.

"Excuse me, dude. The _what_?"

"I mean...what are you doing?"

"What does it look like? I'm cooking you breakfast to make up for ditching you the other night like a jerk."

"You weren't a jerk." Teddy rubs at his eyes. "Cooking what?"

"French toast and scrambled eggs."

"I have eggs?"

"You do now," Pete says, grinning as he stirs something in a bowl. "I may have stocked you up on groceries, which is good because you literally had only mustard and moldy raspberries in your fridge."

"Mmm, mold." Teddy sits down at the tiny table and watches Pete dish up the food. He can't help but smile at Pete's extremely Pete-like outfit: his slim-fit khaki trousers and his green, blue, and white plaid button-down shirt with rolled-up sleeves. So much attention to detail. In a way, it's comforting. "You look nice," he says.

"Aw, shucks," Pete says, still smiling his wide, toothy smile. "Weirdly, so do you, even though you're missing a sock and your hair's all flat on one side."

"Ah, crap. I should shower," Teddy says, moving to stand up. Pete waves him off, picking up the two plates of food and bringing them to the table.

"Nope, no time for showers, only breakfast," he says.

He hands Teddy a fork and Teddy swallows when he notices something missing on Pete's finger. He doesn't say anything, though; just takes the fork and smiles, then sets about inhaling his food. In about three minutes time, his plate is totally decimated, only a faint smear of sriracha left behind.

"Thanks for feeding me," Teddy says, feeling happy and stuffed.

"Dude, I've been feeding you for almost ten years. It's kind of my side gig."

"It's pretty awesome of you." Teddy gulps down half of his orange juice in one go and watches as Pete drags a piece of French toast with his fork through a puddle of maple syrup. "We did miss you the other night."

"Yeah, dude, I'm so sorry. Some stuff just came up, and...it kind of ruined my night." He shrugs and keeps his head down. "Didn't really feel like going out after all."

Teddy exhales. He knows there's no elegant way to broach this, so he figures he might as well just go for it. Pete isn't just a friend, after all; he's his brother. And no matter what—unrequited love and taunting dildos be damned—he's going to be here for him.

"So, I mean...when were you going to tell me?" he asks quietly.

"I swear I was, at some point soon." Pete darts his eyes, looking guilty. "I didn't want to bother you with it."

"Dude, why would you be bothering me?"

"I dunno, dude. You've got everything figured out now—everything's fallen into place for you, you know? You've got your new career and this great place and I'm sure you're banging girls left and right. I don't want to drag you into my shit, just because my life's falling apart."

"Pete, that's the stupidest shit I've ever heard." And not just because it's been months since he last banged anyone, not to mention his nightly dildo ritual. Teddy reaches across the table to clasp and squeeze Pete's shoulder. He's unexpectedly warm and solid under Teddy's palm. "You're my brother. And that's for life. Delta Psi, am I right?"

"Delta Psi," Pete repeats, nodding fiercely. "It just didn't work out, I guess. We weren't as compatible as I thought. We're filing the paperwork now. I'm gonna be a divorced person, just like my parents."

"Well, stop me if this is too soon, but fuck him if he didn't want an awesome husband who makes the best fucking French toast in the world. What a fucking choad."

"Yeah, for real," Pete says, snorting and rubbing at one eye. "Bro codes before choads."

"Brotherhood before smotherhood."

"Jim Belushi before lame and douchey."

"Rolling in a Lexus before lying exes."

Pete smiles sadly. "This is nice, but honestly, he wasn't douchey. And he wasn't the one who lied. I was."

"Liked about what?"

"I guess...about what I really wanted." He looks up at Teddy, his gaze lingering just long enough to make Teddy swallow. He looks so achingly perfect that Teddy is suddenly and painfully aware of his missing sock and mussed hair. Pete starts gathering the dirty dishes, before Teddy can say anything in return. "Here, lemme go rinse these off."

 _Major pining_ , Teddy hears Mac say in his head. Then, as a follow-up, _Bye, bye, butt._ The Radner family's sick sense of humor has somehow lodged itself into his brain, like a horrible parasite. It's enough to get him out of his chair and into the kitchen, to meet Pete directly in front of the sink, where he's prepping everything for the dishwasher. Pete pauses and turns off the water when he spies Teddy standing there.

"What, you wanna dry or something?"

"I wanna hear more about what you really wanted," Teddy says. He reaches up and runs his thumb along Pete's chiseled jaw, grazing just below his ear, making Pete shiver. "Was it this?"

Pete blinks, his eyes suddenly hazy. "Are you fucking with me right now?" he whispers. "I swear, if you're fucking with me, I will rip your balls off. I will rip them right off and FedEx them to Saskatchewan."

"I don't even know what that is," Teddy whispers.

"It's in Canada, it's supposed to be beautiful. But like, seriously. What are you doing?"

"I still have your dildo," Teddy blurts out. "One of the Pete dildos. I've never done anything with it but look at it and touch it. But I think about it. I think about it a lot. And, I mean, if I had known you felt like this…"

"You look at it?"

"Yeah, almost every night."

Pete swallows and runs his hand through Teddy's hair, cupping his neck. "That is so fucking weird and also so fucking hot, you asshole."

"Oh, good," Teddy murmurs, right before he dives in and slots his mouth against Pete's. It takes mere seconds before they're clutching at each other's shirts, yanking each other closer. Pete's mouth feels cavernous, hot and full of glorious tongue, and Teddy pushes him up against the wall to take his fill, licking away remnants of syrup and hot sauce. He breaks away with a gasp when he feels Pete's erection burgeon against his thigh. "Oh, hello, old buddy, old pal."

Pete laughs breathlessly against his cheek. "Bedroom, yeah? You can introduce me to your other best friend."

"I regret nothing," Teddy says, already dragging him out of the kitchen.

*

"It really is uncanny," Teddy says, holding the Pete dildo next to Pete's actual cock. Pete groans and grabs the dildo, putting it aside.

"They look the same because the dildo is from a mold of my dick, remember?" He's gloriously unclothed, and he pushes Teddy onto the mattress long enough to pull off his t-shirt and boxers, and that one pesky sock. "So now that we're both naked and in your bed, do you want to compare and contrast, or do you want to have actual sex? Because...holy shit, look at you. You're built like a fucking god and I want to sex you."

Teddy is used to being ogled—he was a shirtless Abercrombie model, after all—but something about the way Pete says that makes him shudder all over. He pulls Pete close and arches when Pete rubs his hands down his torso.

"Yeah, fuck, let's sex. Let's put that perky guy to work."

"Perky, huh?"

"It's how Kelly described it. She's not wrong. I've seen it perk up _real_ fast, today not even included."

Pete grins as he leans down to lick and tease at Teddy's pecs, making his hips jump. "Mmm. You know what I used to think about when I did that trick? You. I mean, not every single time, but...often." He runs his thumbs down the vee of Teddy's hips, wrapping his warm hand around the base of his cock. "I'd think about yanking off your skinny tie and ripping open your shirt and going to town on you, just like this. That's what got me off—the idea of unwrapping you, like a fucking Christmas present, you know? Like you were for my eyes only."

"Pete," Teddy says through gritted teeth. He scratches lightly down Pete's back. "I'm going to come just from listening to you talk, you asswipe."

"As much as I'd love to see that happen…" Pete reaches over to the nightstand and digs around until he finds a couple of condoms, then hands one to Teddy.

"We're not, uh...doing butt stuff yet, right? No penetration?" Teddy says, slightly distracted as he puts his on, watching Pete at the same time.

"Nah. I'm pretty sure I'm clean and I know you get tested on the regular, but safety first, right?" Once they're both done, Pete moves to line up their hips and drags their cocks together, nice and slow. It feels like the air is punched out of Teddy's stomach, and he must have a ridiculous expression on his face, because Pete laughs in delight. "This is me sexing you, by the way."

"It's excellent sexing," Teddy says, sliding his hands to Pete's thighs. "More, please."

"I'll give you more. You with me, Teddy? Look at me. Be with me in this moment."

"I am, holy shit. You're so intense, Pete, goddamn."

"I fucking love you, dude."

"I—oh god, yeah, keep doing that—I fucking love you, man."

"One day I wanna rub off on your abs. Your abs are fucking insane. Also, your ass. Holy mother of god, your ass. I wanna shove my tongue so far up your ass, it comes out the other side."

"The other side of my _ass_?" Teddy grunts, their quickly established rhythm lighting a fire in his gut. "Why...why is this so hot?"

"Hasn't anyone ever talked dirty to you before?"

"I guess not," Teddy says, gasping at the glide of their cocks. "Not like this."

"That's too bad. You'll get used to it." Pete picks up speed and Teddy adjusts as best as he can, holding onto his headboard for leverage and wrapping one leg around Pete's. He closes his eyes, because Pete's whispering right into his ear now, and it's almost too much to bear. "One day I'll talk dirty to you while I fuck you, hard and slow and deep. Over the kitchen table, in the shower. And it'll be the real thing, my cock in your ass, not some fucking toy or substitute. Though that can be fun, too."

Teddy barely has time to draw in a breath before he feels the Pete dildo nudge against his entrance, between his open thighs. It's enough to send him toppling over the edge, fast and furious, yelping Pete's name as he comes like a freight train. Pete, in return, drops the dildo and starts humping against Teddy like a goddamn jackrabbit until he comes as well, making the most amazing noises, some of which include gasps and murmurs of Teddy's name.

They hold onto each other for dear life, even after they both catch their breath and recover, moving apart only to discard their condoms before tangling themselves together again. Pete runs his fingers through Teddy's hair and he comes pretty close to purring.

"Have you always been like that in bed?" Teddy asks, still a little shaky.

"Yeah, I guess. I know it's kind of insane."

"It's the fucking best, dude."

"Okay, cool." Pete grins and yawns, snuggling closer. "So, what's the verdict on dildo versus dick? Better than just looking at it?"

"I mean, the orgasm was more satisfying, that's for sure."

"Well, tell Kelly I'm flattered she bought a Pete, but I kinda think she's missing out."

"Wait," Teddy says, leaning back. "Do you…?"

"Mmhmm. And I do a lot more with it than look at it."

"Oh, my god. Well played, you perv." Teddy kisses him soundly. "Maybe Stella can find a matching tutu for it."

"Okay, first we're taking a nap, then we're going out for lunch, and somewhere in between I demand an explanation about the tutus."

"Uh-uh, motherfucker. Only if you let me use the Teddy on you one day."

"Like you really have to ask, dude."

As far as love stories go, Teddy's not sure if it makes sense for a tale that begins with a dildo to end with even more dildos. But, he thinks as he drifts to sleep, he can definitely roll with it.  



End file.
